Mindful Grief - Finding Your Inner Song

What is mindfulness? To me, mindfulness is being present in the moment.  Whatever activity at the time is worthy of our attention.  That means tasks, human to human interaction, and how we go about our existence.  Whatever it is that has your attention grows, so how can we nurture our lives to be their best?

How can we approach daily mindfulness in a time of grieving?  There is something to be said about this trending approach to every facet of our existence.  It is the perfect example of how something can grow with our intention. Every chance we have to learn a new approach to living our best life is a great moment, and that includes a growing consciousness of grief and growth.  We are connected and can bring this into our daily lives.

It is being authentic and allowing yourself to feel the darkness.  The angry, the sad, the hopeless.  I allow myself to feel angry when I witness a miserable old cow.  I let the thought cross my mind- many people don't have the ability to reach old age.  By acknowledging my anger, I have clarity.  And compassion.  That the woman has watched all of her friends and loved ones die.  How society throws its elderly away.  How she is tired.  She aches.  And she's miserable.  Maybe her family is involved, maybe they are not. And just like that, I am grateful for my ability to nurture youthful energy in my own life and see the silver lining of my mom's passing at the age of 62.  I'm still looking for the silver lining and always will be, but compassion for others has allowed me to stay present.  

How do we cultivate mindfulness?  

How many different ways can we approach having mindfulness and self-reflection? Exercise, meditating, dancing, yoga, spending time in nature, reading poetry, painting, creating, building. So many ways we can tap into our inner song; our intuition.  I hope the following helps anyone on a spiritual journey or experiencing an existential crisis.

When my mother was dying, I asked her to find me in the music.  I'm not even sure why I said it, or that I had any expectation.  Music was an important part of my parent's relationship, my childhood and any significant occasion in my life.  As she was leaving this earth, Mumford and Son's "Awaken My Soul" filled the room.  I forgot we were in a hospital room.  I began noticing the sun flowing in from the windows, looked over at my sister and saw the essence I had when we were kids.  I was out of my body, and instead of experiencing my mother's transition internally, I felt it as a collective experience with my sisters and my father.  It was not my experience, it was ours.

What does music do for you?  On a deep level, how are you allowing it into your life?

Public radio is the vehicle I which I use to find those moments of needed self reflection.  This vehicle provides me that glimpse, that fracture, allowing light to get into the broken bits.  Music heals in ways no well-intentioned words of solace can.

I have three young kids and do not have the alone time I need to meditate daily.  It is not realistic for me to assume I can carve out 6-10 minutes every night uninterrupted, though I try daily.  How can I slow down, to tap into my source?  Get that peace?  Through self reflection we can act to improve our lives and discover our source of internal happiness.  The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen has a nugget that is important.

Each man is his own savior, after all.

We are 90% water.  Like the moon pulls the ocean, our bodies respond to the vibration of music.  We live, work, celebrate and mourn with music in our ears.  It allows me to be silent and receive the messages.  It allows me to pause.  It allows me to tap into the universe.  Into Source.  Into my guardian angels.  Into God.  Insert whatever your higher power you subscribe to.

WCLZ (98.9 FM) specifically has created opportunities of pause for me.  When I have found myself rushing (and we know bad things come with reckless rushing), Adele has come on several times.  It has happened to my sister as well. Its format is "Adult Alternative", and it is so varied that you won't run into the same genre of music or hear the same pop song repeatedly.  Each on air personality is gifted with musical knowledge.  Brian Farrell has become instant family as the soundtrack of my spiritual journey is unraveled each time I tune in.  I tap in to my soul, and instead of silence, I get answers back.

Maria Shriver, in her book I've Been Thinking... mentions; "Take a moment.  Look at your options.  Check your intentions.  And then? And then take the high road".

I'm so grateful for music and the many ways it has healed my broken heart.  I am hopeful that it will continue to nurture my soul and help me feel connected to this great, big world.  I hope you share with me ways music has helped you cope with the loss of a loved one.